I never undesrtand why I love cooking so much nowadays. Previously I thought that I cook just for the sake of getting something to eat, and I post it on the blog just to tell others in the home country that ' we are fine here....we have no problems with getting enough nutritions and vitamins as well as adding more lemak-lemak to our bodies'....and so that adelia's grandparents will be happy seeing her getting chubby in her almost-sendat clothes. Until la, the last two nights....when it was quite late here, I went to the kitchen and said "can i make brownies now???". And Din was like...."isn't it late, aren't you tired....you have cooked so much today and we are quite full already, and it's weekend, right.....you should be resting after a week of reading and writing". And then I goes...."I don't know....i really feel like cooking".....and at that moment it struck me that 'cooking is a therapy'....hahaha......apekebende la finding ku ini.
The truth is...this journey is a very emotionally challenged journey, unlike masa undergrad or masa buat masters. Like my former supervisor said :
Suasana pengajian di peringkat ini memang begitu. Setiap orang akan terasa kesunyian. Satu hari dia akan berasa seperti berada di puncak gunung. Pada hari yang lain dia benar-benar terduduk dan berasa dirinya cukup daif, kerdil dan hina.
It is sad, but true. I have meeting with my supervisors every friday where I present to them a report which I prepared throughout the week. Masa present tu rasa seperti 'berada di puncak gunung'. After that, we discuss on it and they give comments and directions of what to do next. I know it is a good thing, but sometimes komen-komen mereka menyebabkan I do have feelings like I failed to make a good job....dan mula lah rasa 'daif, kerdil dan hina' pulak. Can't stop the feeling from bothering me....menyebabkan rasa takde motivasi....down....hilang arah tujuan. Langsung, lepas meeting dah takleh nak buat apa dah.....browse-browse internet.....automatically pikiran mula la nak mereka-reka resipi apa nak try weekend ni....and usually ended up print recipe....ajak Din and Adelia gi beli material to cook, and during weekend.....mulalah nak memasak itu ini.
Biasanya, macam tu la the cycle goes.....tapi minggu ni sebab lebih sket dia punya unmotivated.....menyebabkan lebih lagi la benda yg ku masak. On saturday pagi yg almost ke tengahari....starting our day with pancake....eaten with custard (custard beli readymade je). Pastu lepas abis makan pancake (pasai dah masuk tengahari)....continue plak ngan makaroni bakar tiru azrid punya resipi. Yg ni panjang citer sket....pasal ada minah Utopia ni....selalu conquer the oven.....dari pukul 11 pagi sampai la ke pukul 2 tak abis-abis lagik guna common oven ni....lantas ku ubah bekas asal kedalam bekas lain yg boleh masak dalam microwave dalam bilik je.....oleh itu, rupanya tidak la seindah mana....tapi rasanya, boleh la tahan. Adelia likes it....maybe as it is easy for her to makan sambil main-main....sebab senang dia nak ambik, pastu pergi lari-lari...ambik lagi...lari lagi....
Pastu, tgh-tgh malam....tetiba masak brownie plak....yg again, rupanya tak seindah mana....kerana tgh bake sambil tgk TV....so, menanti iklan baru nak turun gi ambik. Turun skali...belum masak. turun kali kedua.....dah overcooked sket. Yet still, rasanya boleh la tahan....as according to Din (mungkin nak ambik hati....hahahahaha....). On Sunday, we have aqeqah at Ponsonby mosque....untuk member baru dapat baby. And sebab kat masjid ni , team masak-nya lelaki saja.....maka keinginan ku untuk memasak terbatas. Orang pompuan tunggu makan aje. Lagipun, depa masak lamb.....tak reti la daku. Balik Ponsonby.....dinner ngan soup tomato, garlic bread and hotdog.....hahaha.....ini sume ready made aje.....maybe kerana sudah hilang tension ku dan emosi juga sudah stabil gitu....maka sekembalinya diriku ke alam normal, so i no longer need 'cooking as a therapy' anymore......maka....makan ajela apa yg ada, ye....hehehehehe......
Dan kerana makaroni and brownies that i make were so tak cantik....i pun letak la gambar tipu kat sini....yg ambik dari website
http://blogluckybeanie.blogspot.com/ and
http://southernfood.about.com/od/brownies/r/bl60417e.htm. Kat sini jugak i ambik recipe dia. Hmmmm....tgk sekali dua brownie ni macam serupa aje ngan i buat....heheh....